Okay, so I've stuck myself in that stupid hopeless position once again. Here's my new dilemma. I have four papers that absolutely need to be finished by December, 5. If you want me to really face reality, they should be finished by the end of the week. In either case, you see that the situation is grim. If I don't finish these papers, I'm guaranteed to fail two of the four classed I took this semester. I might fail calculus on top of that. I really don't know on that one. I'm gonna have to really nail the calculus final if I want to get a decent grade. So once again, my own character flaws are my downfall. I realize, however, that there's something interesting about part of what I feel here at school. I hate being here, it's really true. I love the people, STE, YFC, all the friends I've made, the experiences I've had. That's all great. It's the classes that mess with me. It's this feeling of going around and around without getting anywhere. I've finally found someone I can identify with. Ironically enough, it's Moses. Moses led his people out of Egypt, which was awesome. Then, he got stuck in the desert walking in circles around a mountain for forty years. I have to believe he hated being in that desert. It couldn't possibly have been much fun. On top of that, he had to deal with the Israelites whining about one thing or another every time he turned around. On top of that, he had to beg God not to destroy them whenever they decided to push Him to rage. But, Moses took it like a man. He did what he knew needed to be done, even though he had to have hated doing it. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I may hate what I have to do right now, but I know that there's stuff here I need to learn. Responsibility is one of them. I need to grow, spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. If I don't grow, I'm simply not going to be fully equipped when I head out to become a youth minister. It's not that I won't become one, it's not even that I won't become a good one. It's just that I won't live up to the potential that I have within me. I ask you all one favor: as I wander through this desert on the way to my promised land, please pray that I'll have the patience to grow.

Sweating Bullets,
Moses